Bitter Sweet

I must admit coming back to visit Florida is always so bittersweet. I was raised here and then married and started my family here but it all seems like such another demension for me.
I know its partly because there's no more daddy here to tease me... and because my grandparents are beginning to lose there will to live...and no more Kristi to laugh and cry with.
I feel like Georgia was such a new start for us and am sooo thankful that God continues to open new doors for us.
"Don't look back..you're not headed that way"

Ro'Mance

Just a thought...
some have questioned the idea of us taking in a teen mom from the 'hood and her son, Ro'mance ....and I know it was often with good intentions people did not want to see us get used or hurt. But just think about it this way for a minute.
Ro'mance could be back in the Lake Wales 'hood and his little ears would probablly have heard things they shouldn't ..like all the latest rap songs..he may have even learned how to "booty" dance by now.
His little eyes would probably have seen things they shouldn't have, either on TV or right in front of him.
His little feet would have been planted in some scarey adult situations.
And his little mouth would probablly be singing the very songs that he would have heard...songs that degrade the love between a man and woman.

But I am here to stand up and shout..we as Christ followers CAN be the difference in someones life....for today Ro'mance is not doing these things instead, this is what he did today:
On our way to the park I was driving along and I was feeling a little down because, to be honest I would have rather been doing something on my "to do" list than taking my little toddler, Amara and Ro'mance to the park...
when all of a sudden I hear Ro'mance start to sing..loud and strong..
"This is the day, This is the day, that the Lord has made. I will rejoice, I will rejoice, and be glad in it. This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. This is the day, This is the day that the Lord has made.

What a blessing it is that God can use people like me even though I am so unworthy and ungrateful .
James 1:27

Snow Blessing

Some may have been annoyed by the unruly surprise of snow on March 1st. But our house was ecstatic! After a long cold(to a Florida girl) winter with no reward of snow, this day was a winter wonderland filled with the biggest snow flakes I have ever seen.

I love having seasons..it awakens me. It captures the spirit of a child's heart. To be free to lift your hands to the heavens and feel a beautiful sensation like ..snow, makes one feel totally alive.

So please..live, laugh, love and play in the snow!!

Happy Birthday Kristi

Happy Birthday Kristi..your first birthday with Jesus. Through my grief I want to comprehend this. That even though I hurt so deeply by not having you here...you are in reality...Like a song I once heard. Life is a dream but Heaven is reality. I ache to see your face and hear the voice of a friend like none other. I am so glad I have no regrets in our friendship..I loved you with all my heart and held nothing back...thank you for loving me too. I am such a better person for it. So as Gary says..Cheers to Kristi. May I continue to live with no regrets.

American Dream

I wonder sometimes about the "American Dream". The big house, the white picket fence...is that really what God wants for our hearts to desire? Really? A house that is filled with empty rooms and empty hearts...waiting to be filled with next selfish desire?
In my eyes..I have the big house(& big mortgage) but so often feel it pulling me down. I spend a great deal of my time trying to keep it clean and not perfectly clean..just clean enough to keep away the bugs...perfectly clean would require no sleep at all.
I do feel blessed that I have a home/ a shelter but if we are gonna continue to live here, I dont want this house to be a burden. I want it to be a house of hope. I want the doors to swing wide open for the lost teen, the single mother, and the battered soul.
I pray God will continue to prepare our hearts for opportunities to minister through this acre of space we have because the moment we have it all to ourselves again..I just don't think I want it.

When the Saints

A song Kristi and I loved..may this year open doors for me to
be like this.....


Lord I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know
It's more than I can handle
But your word is burning like a fire shut up in my bones
and I cannot let it go
And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought
I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars
And when the Saints go marching in I want to be one of them Lord it's all that I can't carry and cannot leave behind
but your word has compelled me
when I think of all who've gone before me
and lived the faithful life
And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought
I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars
I see the shepherd Moses in the Pharohs court
I hear his call of freedom for the people of the Lord
And when the Saints go marching in I want to be one of them
And when the Saints go marching in I want to be one of them
I see the long quiet walk along the Underground Railroad
I see the slave awakening to the value of her soul
I see the young missionary and the end of the spear
I see his family returning with no trace of fear
I see the long hard shadows of Calcutta nights
I see the sisters standing by the lepers side
I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor
I see the man with a passion come and kicking down the door
I see the man of sorrows and his long troubled road
I see the world on his shoulders and my easy load

By Sara Groves

Blessed

Wow! 2008 is almost over...and in alot of ways I am glad. I never dreamed that this year would be so hard. But losing my best friend to cancer has awakened me in so many ways..and I hope I never forget to live each day to the fullest.
As for the family: Mekhi started Kindergarten at our church and is LOVING it! He is one of the top readers in his class and his teacher says he's always for the underdog..helping those around him. He has become very creative, give him some tape and a box and he's content for hours! I feel God leading my heart towards homeschooling him next year, so say some prayers for us. I am so excited. We are in the process of creating him and Amara an awesome classroom in our home.
Amara: Continues to be a busy little bee, she dosen't talk a whole lot because she's too busy singing ALL the time! Too cute! She loves her big brother and they continue to play so well together!
Aric: Is busy teaching 11th grade Psychology(a great fit for him) and coaching middle school basketball. He finished his Masters from Liberty University this summer in Educational Administration. He plans to persue a specialist degree this year in cirriculum. At this point he plans to stay in the classroom...since that allows him to be home with us more often.
Me: I am busy being a mom. I work a few hours a week at our church coffee shop and have gotten involved in choir. I got to sing the finale "Joy to the World" at our Christmas musical..it's really been a joy to sing again.
Shabria & Ro: Moved out in October and live at "My Sisters Place" an organization affiliated w/our church where she can get more help that she needs...we still see her every week at church.
Latoya: Came from Lake Wales this summer to live w/us to persue a massage therapy certification...she is doing great. She is involved at our church and gives great massages:)

May all our family and friends be blessed this New Year...as Kristi's widowed husband says so well..."Love Hard"
Kara